I having a hard time expressing My self and I only can say is that. I’m sorry that Blog suck and I wish someone reads it and be part of it.
I’m sorry
Category Self-hate
I Suck
I having a hard time expressing My self and I only can say is that. I’m sorry that Blog suck and I wish someone reads it and be part of it.
I’m sorry
Go leave me alone
Right now I am depressed and I just want everyone to go the fuck way and I know that won’t happen. I know I should try to get over this but I want to go though it and it feel the pain. I don’t know why. I just fucking pissed and depressed and want to go live in a hole.
My feelings for July 7th/8th
- Being more sensitive
- Withdrawn
- More self hate
- Crying over nothing
- Want to be left alone
- Feel worthless
- Saying sorry 5000 times a day
- Hardly talking
- Feeling bad when a happy moment shows up (like I shouldn’t feel this way)
- Feeling heavy sadness
- Feeling unloved
- Don’t give a damn (just fuck it)
- Lonely
Anger and Irritability
I am going to be honest and open but I am not sure how I feel about this. I am going to write about how my anger and irritability affected me today. I found out that stress can make me very very angry and snappy. It like something I can’t controls and when I go though the fast racing train that’s carrying TnT that’s heading to the city and without any breaks. You can see what’s about to happen but you lost control.
That’s how it’s for me when I get into my angry and irritability rage. That’s what I call it. I get so angry and snappy that anything can make me snap and it can be set off any moment. I hate it but when I am in the rage, I don’t care.
I hope that I am not alone. Please like and write a comment.
-Mixed Episodes
I just hate how, My moods, My anger, My pain, My everything controls me like, Its hard for me to give up and move on from the pain that has been done to me. I just hold more and more.
All I want to Cry but, mostly SCREAM.
I dont hurt myself anymore but, It do things that’s not right. I hold on to my anger and resentment. I got so much that, I have to let go before, I go crazy.
Depressed and Very Sad
On the 16th of December-
I will be writing for my two blogs with this post. BrokeAssCripple and MaddpolarM3.
I been depressed for a while now. This sucks. I been sleeping a lot and it’s the only place that I feel best or relaxed. I am so sick of feeling this pain or doing everything around the pain.
- Can’t walk a lot
- Can’t walk too hard
- Can’t have my foot down for too long
- Can’t carry heavy
- Can’t walk in rain (Can slip easy)
- Always very slow
That’s only a few of thing’s that gets me sad or depressed. I hate that, I can’t do things, like I use to too. I went to my PT and I was 30 mins late. I was to be there at 1:15pm but, I showed up like 1:43Pm. I feel do stupid. I hate that, I am always forgetting. My mind is everywhere and I can’t think str8.
I walked like 6 miles today and I was so much pain and I need to sleep to feel better. I had few hour’s sleep on the couch and It helped me feel better but, my leg didn’t feel too good still. That’s, all I can write right now.
This Morning (Dec. 8th)
Well, I am falling more into this depression and I k just want to say fuck it. I just pissed at everything and I just want to fade away cus I am so sick of this.
it’s been a while for me to feel like this but, I knew it I will come back to this. It always comes back.
I just do u want to eat and my body hungry but, I’m not. I even took a bite of a small protein bar and that was hard like I was full and don’t need to eat anything. This sucking sucks. Aarrrrhhhhhhhgg.
Deep sadness
Right now, I am so depressed and I truly hate when I get like this. I mean nothing making feel good and or feel angry/bothered mostly by everything. I can’t do anything that will make me happy cus my stupid leg. I am a outdoor person and this leg won’t let me have the fun or needs to be meant. Just at times the only time I feel peace is when, I am sleeping. I know I need to see a doctor but I need to find one so, I can get on some meds.
So Many Reasons To Be Sad
Ok I could a lot.
I am depressed.
It’s sucks. I just don’t what to do about it. I have so many reasons why I am. From small to big.
Just writing this post makes me sad for I just know that, Its feels so hopeless. I mean, I am dealing with this healing from my broken leg but, it takes a lot of toll on me and just just in pain but, knowing from can’t do things like, I want too like, walking as I used too. \
Even, people say that, I will but seems hopeless and I taking so long. I can’t even stand in one stop for long before, I my ankle/foot starting to hurt and at times even, my knee. I hate how, I have to over so much on so, I wont feel the pain from the cold in my leg mostly, My knee and ankle, foot. I get so hot every where else.
- Always Walking Slow
- Always the last one going some where
- The Party Pooper from the Pain
- Fear from the car’s as I am going some where
- Bothersome
- Not-Understood (What I am going though)
- Lonely about my journey
I am going to make another page of this list: Its going to be called, List of Sadness. List of everything.
Polarxiety 